I just ate a muesli bar. Really this is a noteworthy event as I have some very nice museli bars. Some time ago my friend Dom recommended them to me as an alternative to just about everything else on the market, so I keep buying them. They're called AO bars which the packaging tells me stands for 'Adults Only' and all my social conditioning tells me that means they must be good. The problem is, I never seem to eat them. There is 6 bars in a box and and if I've bought 10 boxes in the last 2 years flying then I'm sure I've eaten no more than 1 box worth. They do get used for various purposes, some are thrown in cockpit for that ‘one day’ when I might actually eat something in flight, a few go in with my lunch, these tend to get cycled out of the lunch bag at the end of one day and back in the next meaning one or two muesli bars are clocking up some airtime, a few get left behind in whatever car took me to launch and I’m sure a possum once took one away from me in Bright, they just don’t get eaten, at least not by me. On the box there is a cashew and almond model (for the bars made of cashews and almonds, of course…) striking a salacious pose and the assurance that the bar contains ‘100% unadulterated taste’. So imagine how much I was looking forward to finally savouring one of these pre-packed delights. Unfortunately what this all seems to mean – the sexy fruit figurine, the AO label, the price tag – is that you end up with a muesli bar, minus all the fun. The French have the philosophy worked out perfectly with snails - simply a vehicle to deliver an artery clogging amount of garlic and butter to your body as quickly as possible, likewise a muesli bar is not about eating muesli and nuts but getting sugar and low quality chocolate straight to your stomach in the guise of a healthy snack. I think I’ll go buy some jelly snakes to fly with.
If you couldn’t tell, it’s still raining.
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